6 Conflict Resolution Strategies for a Peaceful Marriage

Every marriage has its moments of tension. You might disagree about finances, parenting styles, household responsibilities, or how to spend your weekends. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve found yourself in the middle of an argument wondering how things escalated so quickly, or perhaps you’re tired of the same conflicts resurfacing time and again.

Here’s the truth that many couples discover too late: conflict itself isn’t the problem. In fact, research shows that couples who never argue may be avoiding important issues altogether. The real challenge lies in how you handle disagreements when they arise. The difference between marriages that thrive and those that merely survive often comes down to one crucial factor—the ability to resolve conflicts in a healthy, constructive manner.

After years of working with couples from all walks of life, I’ve witnessed firsthand how mastering conflict resolution can transform a struggling relationship into a peaceful, fulfilling partnership. The good news? These skills can be learned, practiced, and perfected over time.

In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore six powerful conflict resolution strategies that can help you and your spouse navigate disagreements with grace, understanding, and mutual respect. Whether you’re newlyweds learning to merge your lives or a seasoned couple looking to break old patterns, these evidence-based techniques will provide you with practical tools to create lasting peace in your marriage.

Strategy 1: Master the Art of Active Listening

When was the last time you truly listened to your partner during an argument? Not just waited for your turn to speak, but genuinely absorbed what they were saying, feeling, and needing? If you’re like most people, the answer might be uncomfortable.

Active listening is the cornerstone of effective conflict resolution, yet it’s surprisingly difficult to practice, especially when emotions run high. During heated moments, our natural instinct is to defend ourselves, formulate counterarguments, or mentally rehearse what we’ll say next. This reactive listening prevents real understanding and keeps conflicts locked in an endless loop.

What Active Listening Really Means

Active listening goes far beyond simply hearing words. It involves fully concentrating on your partner’s message, understanding their perspective, responding thoughtfully, and remembering what was said. It’s about creating a safe space where your spouse feels genuinely heard, validated, and understood—even when you disagree with their viewpoint.

Think of active listening as the bridge between two islands. Without it, you and your partner remain isolated on separate shores, shouting across the water but never truly connecting. With it, you create a pathway for understanding, empathy, and resolution.

How to Practice Active Listening During Conflicts

Start by giving your partner your undivided attention. Put down your phone, turn off the television, and make eye contact. Your body language speaks volumes—face your partner directly, uncross your arms, and lean in slightly to show engagement.

As your spouse speaks, resist the urge to interrupt, even if you disagree with what they’re saying. Let them complete their thoughts without jumping in with corrections, justifications, or defenses. This takes tremendous self-control, but it’s essential for creating the emotional safety necessary for honest communication.

Use verbal and non-verbal cues to show you’re engaged. Nod occasionally, maintain eye contact, and use brief acknowledgments like “I see” or “go on” to encourage them to continue. These small gestures signal that you’re present and invested in understanding their perspective.

Perhaps most importantly, practice reflective listening. After your partner finishes expressing a point, paraphrase what you heard back to them: “What I’m hearing is that you feel overwhelmed by the household responsibilities and wish I would take more initiative without being asked. Is that right?” This technique serves multiple purposes—it ensures you’ve understood correctly, shows your partner you’re paying attention, and gives them an opportunity to clarify any misunderstandings.

The Power of Validation

Active listening isn’t about agreeing with everything your partner says. It’s about validating their feelings and perspective. There’s a profound difference between “You’re overreacting” and “I can see why you’d feel that way.” The first dismisses and escalates conflict; the second acknowledges and de-escalates.

Validation doesn’t mean you’re wrong or they’re right. It simply means you recognize that their feelings are real and legitimate from their perspective. This recognition alone can defuse much of the emotional intensity behind conflicts.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Many couples fall into the trap of “listening to respond” rather than “listening to understand.” If you find yourself mentally preparing your rebuttal while your partner is still speaking, you’re not actively listening. Another common mistake is bringing up past grievances or shifting the conversation to your own complaints before fully addressing your partner’s concerns.

Watch out for the “yes, but” syndrome. Saying “I hear you, but…” typically negates everything that came before. Instead, try “I hear you, and…” which allows you to acknowledge their perspective while also sharing yours.

Strategy 2: Use “I” Statements Instead of “You” Accusations

Language is powerful. The words you choose during conflict can either open doors to resolution or slam them shut. One of the most transformative shifts you can make in your communication style is moving from “you” statements to “I” statements.

Why “You” Statements Escalate Conflict

“You” statements tend to sound accusatory and put your partner on the defensive. When someone feels attacked, their natural response is to protect themselves—either by counterattacking or shutting down emotionally. Neither response leads to productive resolution.

Consider these common “you” statements:

• “You never listen to me!”
• “You always put work before our relationship!”
• “You make me so angry!”
• “You’re being selfish!”

Notice how each statement places blame squarely on the other person. These accusations trigger defensiveness because they judge the other person’s character or intentions rather than addressing the specific behavior or situation causing the conflict.

The Transformative Power of “I” Statements

“I” statements shift the focus from blaming your partner to expressing your own feelings, needs, and experiences. This approach takes ownership of your emotions while clearly communicating the impact of certain behaviors without attacking your partner’s character.

The basic formula for an effective “I” statement includes three components:

1. Your feeling: “I feel…”
2. The specific behavior: “when…”
3. The impact: “because…”

Let’s transform those earlier “you” statements:

• Instead of “You never listen to me,” try: “I feel unheard when I’m sharing something important and you’re looking at your phone, because it makes me feel like my concerns don’t matter to you.”
• Instead of “You always put work before our relationship,” try: “I feel lonely when we don’t spend quality time together, because I miss our connection.”
• Instead of “You make me so angry,” try: “I feel frustrated when plans change at the last minute, because it’s hard for me to adjust my expectations.”
• Instead of “You’re being selfish,” try: “I feel hurt when my needs aren’t considered in decisions, because I want us to be a team.”

Making “I” Statements Work for Your Marriage

The key to effective “I” statements is authenticity and specificity. Vague complaints like “I feel bad when you do stuff” won’t create understanding. Be specific about the behavior, your feeling, and why it matters to you.

It’s also crucial to avoid disguised “you” statements. Phrases like “I feel that you are inconsiderate” or “I feel like you don’t care” are really just accusations dressed up in “I” language. True “I” statements focus on your internal experience, not judgments about your partner.

Another important element is timing. “I” statements work best when you’re calm enough to articulate your feelings clearly. If you’re in the heat of anger, you might still deliver “I” statements with a hostile tone that undermines their effectiveness. Take a break if needed, then return to the conversation when you can speak from a place of clarity rather than reactivity.

Practice Makes Progress

If “I” statements feel awkward at first, that’s completely normal. Most of us grew up hearing and using “you” statements, so changing this pattern requires conscious effort and practice. Start by mentally converting “you” statements to “I” statements in low-stakes situations. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes, even during heated moments.

Remember that using “I” statements isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being intentional. Even if you slip into “you” territory during an argument, you can pause and reframe: “Wait, let me try that again. What I meant to say is…”

Strategy 3: Take Strategic Timeouts Before Things Escalate

One of the most underrated yet effective conflict resolution strategies is knowing when to pause. Many couples believe that once a conflict begins, they must see it through to resolution immediately. This belief leads to exhausting marathon arguments where emotions spiral, hurtful words are spoken, and resolution becomes impossible.

Understanding Emotional Flooding

Psychologist John Gottman’s research on marriage introduced the concept of “flooding”—a state where your body becomes so overwhelmed by negative emotions that your heart rate increases, stress hormones flood your system, and your ability to think clearly and communicate effectively shuts down. When flooded, your brain shifts into fight-or-flight mode, making productive conversation virtually impossible.

Signs of emotional flooding include:

• Rapid heartbeat or feeling your heart pounding
• Difficulty thinking clearly or accessing rational thought
• Overwhelming urge to either attack or withdraw
• Physical tension or feeling hot
• Tunnel vision focused only on defending yourself
• Inability to hear or process what your partner is saying

If you or your partner are experiencing flooding, continuing the conversation will only cause more damage. This is when a strategic timeout becomes essential.

How to Take a Productive Timeout

The key word here is “strategic.” Walking away in anger without explanation can feel like abandonment to your partner and may escalate the conflict. Instead, implement a structured timeout approach that both partners understand and agree to use.

First, establish a timeout signal or phrase during a calm moment, not in the heat of conflict. This might be something simple like “I need a break” or “I’m feeling flooded and need time to calm down.” The specific words matter less than having a clear, predetermined signal that both partners recognize and respect.

When you or your partner call a timeout, specify when you’ll return to the conversation. This is crucial because it prevents the timeout from becoming avoidance. Try something like: “I need 30 minutes to calm down. Can we reconvene at 7 PM?” This commitment reassures your partner that you’re not abandoning the conversation, just pressing pause to make it more productive.

During the timeout, focus on genuine self-soothing rather than rehearsing arguments or building your case. Take a walk, practice deep breathing, listen to calming music, or engage in light exercise. Avoid activities that keep you emotionally activated, like venting to friends about how wrong your partner is or ruminating on past grievances.

Research suggests that it takes at least 20 minutes for your body to physiologically calm down from a flooded state. Give yourself enough time to return to baseline before resuming the conversation.

The Return: Coming Back Together

When you reconvene, start with appreciation. Thank your partner for respecting the timeout, and acknowledge that you’re both working toward resolution. This sets a collaborative tone for the continued discussion.

Check in with yourself and your partner about readiness. A simple “Are you ready to continue talking about this?” can prevent restarting before both parties are emotionally prepared. If either of you still feels activated, it’s okay to extend the timeout.

Begin the conversation by focusing on one specific issue rather than bringing up everything that bothered you during the break. Remember, the goal is resolution, not winning.

When Timeouts Become Avoidance

While strategic timeouts are healthy, consistently avoiding difficult conversations isn’t. If you or your partner frequently call timeouts but rarely return to resolve issues, that’s a red flag indicating a deeper problem that may require professional support.

Healthy timeouts are brief, purposeful, and always include a return to the conversation. Unhealthy avoidance involves repeatedly postponing discussions, walking away without explanation, or using timeouts as a power play to control when and whether difficult topics are addressed.

Strategy 4: Focus on the Issue, Not Personal Attacks

When conflicts arise, it’s temptingly easy to shift from discussing the problem to attacking the person. This pattern—called “kitchen sinking” when you throw in every past grievance—destroys productive dialogue and leaves both partners feeling hurt, defensive, and misunderstood.

The Anatomy of Personal Attacks

Personal attacks come in many forms, some obvious and others more subtle. The blatant ones include name-calling, insults, or character assassination: “You’re lazy,” “You’re just like your mother,” or “You’re being ridiculous.”

Related Post: 9 Signs It’s Time To Close The Distance (And How To Plan It)

More subtle attacks involve generalizations that judge your partner’s character rather than addressing specific behaviors. Words like “always” and “never” often signal that you’ve crossed from issue-focused to person-focused: “You always ignore me” or “You never follow through on anything.”

Bringing up past conflicts is another form of attack: “Remember last year when you…” or “This is just like that time when…” These references shift focus from the current issue to a litany of grievances, overwhelming your partner and making resolution impossible.

Why We Attack and How to Stop

Understanding why we resort to personal attacks helps us develop strategies to prevent them. Often, attacks stem from feeling unheard or powerless. When we can’t seem to resolve the actual issue, we unconsciously escalate by attacking the person, hoping the increased emotional intensity will finally get their attention.

Other times, attacks are defensive maneuvers. When we feel criticized or blamed, attacking our partner’s character deflects attention from our own behavior and shifts the focus to their flaws instead.

Recognizing these patterns in yourself is the first step toward change. When you feel the urge to attack, pause and ask yourself: “Am I addressing the specific issue at hand, or am I trying to hurt my partner because I’m hurt?” This moment of self-awareness can redirect the conversation toward resolution.

Keeping Conflicts Issue-Focused

To maintain issue focus during disagreements, establish clear boundaries about what’s fair game in arguments. Decide together that certain topics are off-limits: past mistakes that have been resolved and forgiven, family members, physical appearance, or anything shared in confidence.

When you begin a difficult conversation, clearly state the specific issue you want to address: “I want to talk about how we’re splitting household chores” not “I want to talk about everything that’s wrong with our relationship.” This focused approach prevents conversations from spiraling into overwhelming territory.

Related Post: 6 Signs of a Healthy Marriage (Are You Checking All the Boxes?)

Use behavioral descriptions rather than character judgments. Instead of “You’re irresponsible with money,” try “I’m concerned about the $500 spent on video games this month when we agreed to stick to our budget.” The first attacks character; the second addresses a specific behavior.

If your partner raises a separate issue during your discussion, acknowledge it but request to address it separately: “That’s important too, and I want to give it proper attention. Can we finish discussing this issue first, then set aside time to talk about that one?”

Repair Attempts When You’ve Crossed the Line

Despite best intentions, you’ll sometimes slip into personal attacks, especially during moments of high emotion. When this happens, own it immediately. A genuine “That was uncalled for, I’m sorry” can prevent lasting damage and model accountability.

Don’t just apologize and move on, though. Take responsibility for the impact: “I shouldn’t have called you selfish. That was hurtful and not fair. What I meant to say is that I feel disappointed when our weekend plans don’t include couple time.” This repair attempt acknowledges the harm while redirecting toward the real issue.

Remember that repair attempts work best when they’re sincere and accompanied by changed behavior. If you repeatedly attack and apologize without modifying your approach, the apologies lose their power and your partner loses trust in your commitment to change.

Strategy 5: Seek Win-Win Solutions Through Compromise

Many couples approach conflict with a win-lose mindset, where one person’s needs being met automatically means the other person loses. This competitive approach creates resentment, power struggles, and a relationship dynamic where partners become adversaries rather than teammates.

Shifting to a collaborative, win-win mindset transforms conflict from a battle to be won into a problem to be solved together.

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The Problem with Win-Lose Thinking

In win-lose dynamics, partners keep score. If you got your way about where to vacation last time, I should get my way about holiday plans this time. This transactional approach misses the fundamental purpose of marriage—building a life together based on mutual support and shared goals.

Win-lose thinking also creates a dynamic where one partner’s happiness comes at the expense of the other’s. Over time, this breeds resentment in whoever “loses” more often and guilt or defensiveness in whoever “wins” more frequently. Neither emotion fosters intimacy or connection.

Perhaps most damaging is that win-lose thinking often masks the real needs underneath positions. When couples argue about whose family to visit for holidays, the surface-level positions (“We should go to my parents!” vs. “No, we should go to mine!”) obscure the deeper needs—perhaps feeling connected to family, wanting children to know their grandparents, or needing to be recognized as a priority.

Uncovering Interests Beneath Positions

The first step toward win-win solutions is distinguishing between positions (what you say you want) and interests (why you want it). Your position is your stated solution to the problem; your interest is the underlying need, desire, concern, or value driving that position.

For example, imagine a couple arguing about whether to move to a new city for a job opportunity. One partner’s position is “We should move for this opportunity,” while the other’s position is “We should stay here.” A position-based negotiation becomes a win-lose tug-of-war.

But what if they explored their interests instead? The partner who wants to move might be interested in career growth, financial security, and new experiences. The partner who wants to stay might be interested in community connections, stability for children, and proximity to aging parents.

Notice how these interests aren’t inherently contradictory. While the positions oppose each other, the interests open possibilities for creative solutions that address both partners’ underlying needs.

The Collaborative Problem-Solving Process

Win-win solutions require a structured approach to problem-solving that prioritizes understanding over quick fixes.

Start by agreeing that you’re on the same team facing a shared challenge. Physically sitting side by side while discussing the issue (rather than facing off across from each other) can reinforce this collaborative mindset.

Each partner shares their interests without judgment or interruption. Remember active listening? This is where it becomes crucial. Understanding what your partner truly needs creates the foundation for finding mutually satisfying solutions.

Once both partners have shared their interests, brainstorm possible solutions together without immediately evaluating or criticizing ideas. In this creative phase, quantity matters more than quality. Even ideas that seem imperfect might spark better ones.

After generating options, evaluate each one together against both partners’ interests. A true win-win solution addresses the core needs of both people, even if neither person gets their original position fulfilled exactly as they imagined.

Creative Compromise in Action

Let’s return to the couple considering relocation. After discussing interests, they might discover creative solutions like:

• One partner taking the new job but working remotely several days a week to maintain current community connections
• Making the move but committing to monthly visits back home
• One partner taking the job while the other stays temporarily until children finish the school year
• Negotiating with the employer for enhanced relocation benefits that address concerns about uprooting the family

Notice how none of these is simply “move” or “stay.” Each represents a creative solution that attempts to honor both partners’ interests.

When Compromise Isn’t Possible

Sometimes, despite best efforts, certain issues have no middle ground. In these cases, couples can practice what I call “loving sacrifice”—choosing to prioritize your partner’s needs because you value their happiness and the relationship’s wellbeing, not because you lost a fight.

The crucial difference is autonomy. Loving sacrifice feels like “I’m choosing to support what matters to you” rather than “You’re forcing me to give up what matters to me.” This mindset shift, though subtle, profoundly impacts how both partners experience the outcome.

For loving sacrifice to work long-term, it must be reciprocal over time. In a healthy marriage, both partners sometimes sacrifice their preferences for the other’s needs. If one person consistently sacrifices while the other consistently gets their way, that’s not compromise—it’s imbalance.

Strategy 6: Know When to Seek Professional Help

There’s a persistent myth that seeking couples counseling or therapy means your marriage is failing. In reality, the opposite is often true. Couples who proactively seek professional support demonstrate commitment to their relationship’s health and recognize that expert guidance can provide tools and insights that aren’t readily available otherwise.

Recognizing When DIY Isn’t Enough

How do you know when conflict resolution strategies aren’t working and professional help is needed? Several red flags indicate it’s time to reach out to a marriage counselor or therapist.

If you find yourselves having the same arguments repeatedly without resolution, that circular pattern suggests underlying issues that require professional insight to untangle. These recurring conflicts often have deeper roots—unmet needs, past trauma, attachment wounds, or fundamental value differences that surface through proxy arguments about daily issues.

When conflicts escalate to contempt—one of relationship expert John Gottman’s “Four Horsemen” of relationship destruction—professional intervention becomes critical. Contempt manifests as sarcasm, mockery, name-calling, eye-rolling, or hostile humor. It communicates disgust and superiority, and research identifies it as the single best predictor of divorce.

Similarly, if conflicts have become physically aggressive or include verbal abuse, seek help immediately. This isn’t about improving conflict resolution techniques; it’s about safety. No amount of communication skills can substitute for professional intervention in abusive relationships.

Other indicators include:

• Emotional distance or withdrawal where one or both partners have stopped trying to resolve conflicts
• Infidelity or trust breaches that require professional guidance to process
• Major life transitions (new baby, job loss, relocation) creating unexpected relationship strain
• Different visions for the relationship’s future causing constant conflict
• Substance abuse or addiction affecting relationship dynamics
• Sexual issues or intimacy challenges causing disconnection

What Marriage Counseling Offers

A skilled couples therapist provides an objective, trained perspective that helps partners see patterns they can’t recognize from inside the relationship. They create a structured, safe environment where both partners can express themselves honestly without fear of the conversation derailing.

Marriage counselors teach specific communication and conflict resolution skills tailored to your unique relationship dynamics. They help identify underlying issues driving surface-level conflicts and guide couples in developing strategies to address root causes rather than symptoms.

Perhaps most importantly, therapists provide accountability and structure. Many couples have good intentions about changing communication patterns but struggle with consistency. Regular therapy sessions create checkpoints that encourage sustained effort and progress.

Choosing the Right Professional

Not all therapists specialize in couples work, and not all couples therapists will be the right fit for you. Look for licensed professionals with specific training in marriage and family therapy. Approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method, or Imago Relationship Therapy have strong research support.

Consider practical factors like availability, location, and whether they accept your insurance. Some therapists offer sliding scale fees for couples with financial constraints.

Perhaps most crucial is finding someone both partners feel comfortable with. Most therapists offer brief consultation calls or initial sessions to assess fit. If after a few sessions you don’t feel the therapist understands your relationship or one partner feels the therapist is biased, it’s okay to seek a different professional.

Making Therapy Work

The couples who benefit most from therapy approach it as a team project rather than a place to prove who’s right. Both partners must be willing to examine their own contributions to conflict patterns, not just point out the other’s flaws.

Consistency matters. Attending sessions regularly and completing any homework or exercises the therapist suggests accelerates progress. Many couples make breakthroughs during sessions but struggle to implement changes without that sustained effort between appointments.

Be patient with the process. Just as conflicts don’t develop overnight, resolution takes time. Some couples see improvement within a few sessions, while others need months of consistent work to shift entrenched patterns.

Prevention Is Powerful

Don’t wait until your marriage is in crisis to seek help. Some couples benefit from periodic “relationship check-ups” with a therapist, even when things are going well. These preventive sessions help maintain healthy patterns, provide space to discuss minor issues before they become major problems, and reinforce positive relationship skills.

Think of it like regular dental cleanings—you don’t wait until you have a cavity to visit the dentist. Similarly, relationship maintenance through occasional therapy can prevent small issues from becoming large ones.

Bringing It All Together: Building Your Peaceful Marriage

Conflict resolution isn’t about eliminating disagreements from your marriage. That’s neither possible nor desirable. Healthy conflict, handled well, helps couples understand each other more deeply, negotiate needs, and grow together through challenges.

What these six strategies offer is a roadmap for transforming how you navigate inevitable differences. When you commit to active listening, you create space for genuine understanding. When you use “I” statements, you communicate without attacking.

When you take strategic timeouts, you prevent damage during emotional flooding. When you focus on issues rather than personal attacks, you preserve respect and dignity. When you seek win-win solutions, you reinforce that you’re teammates. And when you recognize the need for professional support, you demonstrate courage and commitment to your relationship’s health.

Creating Your Conflict Resolution Agreement

Consider developing what I call a “Conflict Resolution Agreement” with your partner. During a calm moment, discuss these six strategies and decide together which ones resonate most. Agree on specific practices you’ll implement, like:

• Using a particular phrase to signal need for a timeout
• Committing to “I” statements during difficult conversations
• Scheduling regular check-ins to address small issues before they escalate
• Agreeing to brainstorm at least three possible solutions before settling on one
• Deciding in advance what topics are off-limits in arguments

Writing this agreement down and reviewing it periodically helps keep you both accountable and reminds you of your shared commitment to handling conflict constructively.

The Daily Practices That Prevent Conflict

While these strategies focus on resolving conflicts when they arise, prevention is equally important. Daily practices that strengthen your relationship create a buffer against conflict and make resolution easier when disagreements occur.

Maintain emotional connection through small gestures—a genuine “how was your day?” conversation, a warm greeting after time apart, expressions of appreciation, physical affection, and quality time together. Research shows that couples with strong positive interactions during non-conflict times handle conflicts more effectively when they arise.

Practice gratitude explicitly. Share specific things you appreciate about your partner regularly, not just during conflicts when you’re trying to soften criticism. This ongoing positivity creates goodwill that helps partners extend grace during difficult moments.

Address small issues promptly rather than letting them accumulate. Many major conflicts are actually collections of unaddressed minor irritations that eventually explode. Regular check-ins create space to discuss small concerns before they become big problems.

Your Conflict Resolution Journey

Remember that mastering these strategies is a journey, not a destination. You won’t implement them perfectly, especially during highly emotional moments. That’s okay. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

Start with the strategy that feels most accessible or addresses your biggest pain point. If you frequently find yourself in destructive shouting matches, strategic timeouts might be your starting place. If you tend to bring up past grievances during current conflicts, focusing on the issue at hand could be your priority.

As one strategy becomes more natural, add another. Over time, these approaches will become integrated into how you naturally handle disagreements, transforming your conflict patterns and creating the peaceful marriage you both desire.

The Ultimate Reminder

Behind every conflict is an opportunity for deeper understanding, greater intimacy, and stronger partnership. When you approach disagreements with curiosity about your partner’s perspective rather than defensiveness about your own position, conflict becomes a pathway to connection rather than an obstacle to it.

Your marriage is worth the effort it takes to resolve conflicts well. These six strategies—active listening, “I” statements, strategic timeouts, issue-focused communication, win-win solutions, and professional support when needed—provide the tools. Your commitment to implementing them provides the power.

The peaceful marriage you envision isn’t one without disagreements. It’s one where conflicts are handled with respect, compassion, and collaboration. Where both partners feel heard and valued even during difficult conversations. Where problems are solved together rather than used as weapons against each other.

That marriage is absolutely within your reach. It starts with a single conversation, a conscious choice to try a new approach, and a commitment to keep practicing even when it feels difficult. Your relationship—and the peace you’ll create together—is worth every bit of that effort.